The Game of Life
by natthatfangirl
Summary: It all began with a graduation ceremony, a few goodbyes, and bloody fingers.
1. Chapter 1

They say graduation is an end, and it's a beginning.

It's an end to childhood and the beginning of your start in the world.

It's a chance to change your life, become who you want to be.

But for four girls, of whom this story will be about, share a feeling about this special day that does not revolve around celebrations and new beginnings.

They share a feeling of escape.

These four girls, in particular, have been traumatized by a mysterious threat all their highschool lives. And now, they are moving far, far away. Separate directions. One person would have to try really hard to hurt all four of them.

Who is this mysterious threat?

Well, I suppose that's why it's called "mysterious"- it's a mystery as to the identity. These girls have referred to it as 'A' since the threats began. And A has gladly embraced the title.

With four targets moving in different directions and leaving the captive arms of A, it will be extremely hard to maliciously harm four girls.

And that is why they share a feeling of escape.

But thought A can no longer tear them down, life itself is not always full of happiness and butterflies.

Life itself will get in their way.

For you see, this is a story of four girls who take on the world by themselves, discovering life's many obstacles and painful circumstances. Throughout it all they learn and - well, I'll just let them tell the story. But I suppose I shall set the scene.

It all began with a graduation ceremony, a few goodbyes, and some bloody fingers.


	2. The Graduation Jitters

SPENCER'S POV

I understand a LOT of things, but I will never, EVER, understand how in my four years at Rosewood High, I was never able to figure out who A was.

So many clues, texts, messages - did we ever solve the mystery? No. Did we ever figure out who A was? No.

I can't say that I'm not happy I'm graduating - at least the girls and I will be miles apart, a bit tough for A to hurt us that way.

But that's the thing.

We'll all be miles apart.

No more A, but no more seeing each other every day. No more hangouts at the coffee house, no more living across and next to my friends.

I'll even miss Alison.

Alison, who disappeared for years.

Alison, who treated us like crap.

Alison, who lived next to me, but kept more secrets than I could figure possible without exploding.

Alison, who just happened to be one of my only friends.

Everything hurts. I'm leaving four girls I love more than anything.

Well, almost anything. There's still the case of Toby, the boy I love even more.

I won't be leaving him, though. Toby is coming with me, working on construction at Harvard while I'm attending school there. I still remember the moment we shared when he told me he was coming with me: We smiled, squealed, and kissed. It was a moment when I learned something special about our relationship - we cannot be apart. That is how much we love each other.

As I dress in my silk cap and gown for the graduation ceremony, the doorbell rings. I rush downstairs, and my hopes are confirmed as Toby appears in the doorway. He kisses me and wraps his arms around my waist.

"Look at you, my valedictorian," he says.I laugh, but he isn't wrong. I was elected valedictorian last week, and the girls have helped me write the perfect speech for the graduating class. I knew I had to make the speech perfect. I only have one chance to say words that will resonate with my peers the rest of their lives.

That's a lot of pressure to put on a person.

"I'm so proud of you," Toby says. "Maybe tonight after the ceremony you and I can…" He cocks his head, and I know what he's implying. I snicker.

"Hmm, well, that'll be the first time in our _adult _lives…" I smile, and we rub noses. "But I have to go to dinner with my family first. _Pleaseeee _join us. I do not want to be alone with my parents on graduation of all nights."

Toby just laughs his calming, dazzling laugh and I melt. "Of course I'll be there," he says. "I would never leave you alone with them."

"Thank God," I reply, slapping my hands upon his toned pecs. I let my lips mold into his, and we fall out the door.

"Let's go!" Toby exclaims excitedly. He grips my hands and yanks me into his beat-up truck. He starts the clanking engine and we drive off to graduation.

As we ride, there's a part of me that just cannot wait to begin my life. There's another part of me that is terrified out of my mind. This is really A's final chance to make a stand.

It may also be my chance to figure out who A is, but I guess that's not important. I'd rather never be traumatized by A again than uncover the identity. I pray A will not do anything hurtful. This is the start of the beginning of my life. I don't want it ruined by some petty person jealous of my friends.

"You okay?" Toby asks after noticing I'd spaced out.

"Yeah, just thinking."  
"If you're worried about A, Spencer, don't be. You have one more day until we're out of here forever. All your friends are leaving, too. A can't really hurt all of you at once when none of you are in the same place. I want you to promise me you'll just focus on graduation and on us."

"Okay," I say, but not truly meaning it. Not only does the thought of A scare me, but how he reminded me of another thing. All of my friends are leaving. We'll never live next door or across the street from each other again. I'm moving away. They're moving. Aria's going to CMU, Emily's going to Danby, Hanna's going to fashion school…

Nothing is ever going to be the same again.

* * *

ARIA'S POV

"Just one more kiss before I go inside. No one can see us together there."

"Alright, fine," Ezra relents. He places his lips on mine and kisses me, ducking down into his car. He smiles, wishes me luck, and hides as I quickly exit the car. I know he won't leave until I'm inside. It's just one of the annoying casualties of a romance like ours. I've gotten used to it - or so I tell myself.

There are times I just wish I could be seen in public with Ezra, walk around Rosewood hand-in-hand, sipping coffee. I love him, but I want a normal relationship.

_Just one more day. Just a few more hours. _

I keep reminding myself that after graduation, we'll no longer be teacher-student. We're equals. Adults. Citizens. And no one can judge us. I'm staying in Pennsylvania, where I'll be near him, but still, the city of Pittsburgh is far from Rosewood. I still won't be able to see him everyday. And that's where I again have to remind myself there's four _years _until we can tie the knot and be the perfect couple. I tell myself it isn't that long of a period, but I know the truth. I may only be able to see him on the weekends, if I have free time between classes and homework.

My heart sinks, knowing today may be the only time I have left with Ezra for the next few years. I will not let a town's moral standard withhold me from being with him today.

As I trudge up the stairs of my high school for the last time, I think back to everything Ezra and I have been through. I think of our ups and downs, our break ups and misunderstandings - and our romance. But staying together - is that the best option anymore? We'll be away from each other for God knows how long, and I fear that we'll grow apart. Should I really tie myself down in college of all places? I don't want to leave him, don't get me wrong. But I don't want the pressure of a relationship for the next four years that isn't going anywhere.

Maybe I was right when I asked for one more kiss back in the car. Maybe that kiss was to say goodbye. For now.

I can't handle this. My head hurts. College will be tough enough, but add the stress of a long distance relationship?

I know what I have to do. I need to break up with Ezra.

* * *

HANNA'S POV

There are people who didn't believe I'd ever graduate. There are people who told me I'd never get anywhere in life. There are people who didn't think I'd make it to college.

Well, you know what? Heck with them.

Standing here in a cap and gown has already earned confused stares from a plethora of people. I can see it in their eyes, how they're surprised to see me walk the halls of this school in the robes, not as a spectator. I've proved so many people wrong, even my family. Not even they truly believed in me.

I'm going to college, too. Not your typical college - a fashion school in New York. But, I still had to work extremely hard to get there, as well as have the skills they wanted for them to accept me. They were thrilled with my skills, and begged me to come. People thought I was lying when I told them that.

I fix my cap, throw back the tassel, and straighten my posture just a bit, walking through these halls and exuding an aura of dignity.

Taking my seat up on the stage, I fold my arms and smirk.

Aria rushes in, taking her seat next to me. We're seated in alphabetical order by last name, so Aria is beside me, and Spencer and Emily sit in the row right behind us.

She looks nervous, sweat forming in her brow. As she plops into the chair, she lets her head fall into her hands, her breathing heavy and loud that I can hear it over the commotion.

"What's with you?" I ask, suddenly regretting my choice of tone.

She sighs, then faces me. She looks tired, stressed.

"I don't know what to do about… _Ezra." _She whispers his name, and I can see in her eyes she hates the fact that she can't say his name aloud. But she continues anyway. "I'm going to be pretty far away from him for the next four years, and I'll hardly ever see him. Is it… is it a good idea to maybe break things off with him for a while? I don't want to have to be tied down during college, but I don't want to leave him."

I buzz my lips, shake my head. I don't know what to say. Travis, a boy I'd had a bit of a fling with in high school, and I had broken it off a few months ago. We both realized we weren't getting anywhere, and with college around the corner, we knew we were going to grow apart.

But that just doesn't seem the same for Aria. She and Ezra have been dating - more than dating, even - for years. They love each other. I'd hate to see them fall apart.

Then again, maybe Aria's right. Does she really want a long distance relationship?

I say: "Aria, maybe it'd be best if you… put things on hold with Ezra. Go to college, date guys, do exciting stuff. When you come back to Rosewood, find him. You'll know if you still love him."

"Maybe you're right," Aria replies, but she isn't looking at me, and I can see she feels remorseful already. She hides the tears welling in her eyes.

I don't want my best friend to be hurt. It pains me as well. But I can't let her put herself through this pain. I want to make sure I'm leaving her in the best condition possible.

"Do what feels right, Ar. I don't want you to be hurt."

As I think about it, I begin to grow almost… jealous. I miss having a relationship like Aria's.

I miss… _Caleb. _

* * *

EMILY'S POV

Some people get sad for their graduation, some people fear it, some people get excited. I happen to be in that third category.

I _neeeeeedddd _to get out of here as soon as possible. I want to get out of a town where people judge me for not being 'normal.' What is normal anymore? Honestly, is lesbianism truly a crime? It's more of a crime to hate it than to be it.

Rosewood aggravates me beyond belief. Though many people have begun to accept it, I still see the way they look at me, the way they wish they could beat me to the ground, torture me, whack the lesbianism out of me.

But while I've learned to accept the harsh ways, I still have yearned each day for the moment I can escape this town and start over.

And now, I'm getting that chance.

I wonder what my life will be like when I get to Danby. After the struggle of Maya and Paige, will I meet someone who won't eventually inadvertently break my heart?

Spencer takes her seat next to me, muttering her speech to herself. I know it would be a mistake to disrupt her in a time of studying.

The silence gives me a chance to think, to wonder what my life is to become in the near future. I just want to get out of here. I've never been completely honest with my friends at how discontent I've been all my life.

I've never been happy. And… I'd never reveal this to my friends… but there are times I've thought of suicide. I've thought of ending it all. I can't handle the people in this town. But my friends kept me going. They were the ones who supported me on their shoulders, boosted me up. I need them. And I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to leave them.


	3. A Point in the Right Direction

**AN: Many of you have asked about the bloody fingers, and I promise. Read this chapter, and all will be understood. No it's not a metaphor - there are fingers. But what they symbolize is something greater, something ****that**** makes the liars question their lives and decisions.**

* * *

SPENCER'S POV

"So remember, as you live your lives out in the world, the life you had back here, all of your memories, it will all be back here in Rosewood. Whatever you pursue, wherever you go, your roots are here. Rosewood will always be a part of you."

The crowd below erupts into an explosion of applause. I let out a breath of relief, amazed that it's all over. It's. All. Over. I am amazed I was able to get through that entire speech without fainting or puking.

A part of me feels empty. Suddenly, everything that has made up the past 12 years of my life has vanished, becoming just a memory, no longer a part of me. My life at school is over. It's time to take on the real world.

As students release their caps into the audience and bound to greet family and friends, I rush off the stage and fling myself into Toby's arms, who spins me around. He places me back on my feet and kisses me deeply.

"You did it," he says with a smile.

"I did. I did do it. How did I do it?" I laugh. I kiss him, bringing my hands to cup his soft cheeks.

"Because you're Spencer," Toby replies. "You're the girl who tries and tries, and never gives up. You're the girl that doesn't take no for an answer. You're the girl who is always perfect and always the best."

Something about what he says resonates me in a way I wouldn't expect. As wonderful as it is to hear him call me perfect, it doesn't sit right. Is that how I come across? Am I always trying to be the best, to win at everything? I know I used to, I know I was competitive, but is that reflected in everything I do? Even… school?

I always thought it was a good thing to try hard at school. I mean, I'm going to Harvard for God's sake! But maybe I need to lighten up. Maybe I need to be more relaxed now that school is over. There isn't as much pressure.

"I need to get home and start packing," I say, trying to end the conversation. "I'll meet you at dinner tonight."

"Alright. I love you," Toby responds with a quick peck on the lips. Before I even respond I am already dashing off in the opposite direction towards home.

A package sits on the step of my house. I think nothing of it until I get upstairs to continue packing. My clothes as strewn across my bed as I begin to fold and meticulously place things in the luggage bag. The brown, wrinkled package sits at the foot of my bed. Once all of my clothes have been maneuvered to accurately fill my case, I remember the package.

"Weird, there's no return address," I say out loud.

I untie the twine holding the folds of the flimsy package.

Something small and sturdy falls out onto my bed.

When I see what's inside, I let out an enormous scream and fall backwards.

A finger. A bloody finger.

Regaining consciousness, I slowly stand up and back away from my bed, the torn packaging still tight within my grasp.

I look down and see a parchment tag sticking out. There's a note. I gulp.

"This is to _point _you in the right direction. Remember, whatever you do, wherever you go, Rosewood will always be a part of you.

And so will I. -A"

* * *

ARIA'S POV

Ezra greets me outside of the school. He is wearing sunglasses and a wide-brimmed hat.

He is trying to disguise himself so no one sees who he really is. He refuses to show himself around me. Because, you know, people might judge.

"Hey there, my college girl," he says.

I avoid meeting his eyes. "Ezra, you don't have to do this anymore. Look! I'm not in high school anymore. You're not my teacher. You don't have to pretend to be someone different or disguise yourself. This doesn't have to go on."

"Aria, I love you, you know that, but I just don't want to have people see us together the minute you get out of school."

"Who's going to judge? Look, Ezra, I love you too, but between the hiding and the fact that I'm going off to college and I won't be able to see you, I… I'm wondering if it's a good idea to take a break from us for a while. Let's take four years to live life and do what we want. If I get back and we still have feelings for each other, we'll know we're meant to be."

I couldn't believe I was actually taking this advice from Hanna, but the words just spilled out. I could see Ezra's eyes cloud with tears, but of course, he couldn't cry in front of me. Otherwise people will realize we know each other. Then questions will be asked. Of course.

I walk away before he can reply, before he can say anything that might change my mind or make me want to stay with him. I know I'm doing the right thing. I hope.

A tear falls from my cheek, and I wipe it away as quickly as it came. I crawl into my car and take a deep breath. What I just did hurts, but I try not to show it.

I reach for my purse, but I am taken aback by something sitting in the passenger seat. I scream, praying the windows are completely closed so that no one comes over.

I can't catch my breath. Sitting beside me is a severed, bloody finger.

I see that a message is scribble lightly across my mirror.

"Aria, Aria, poor, stupid Aria, who let Ezra go. Your finger could have had a ring on it, but you severed your chances. -A"

* * *

HANNA'S POV

I _really _wish I could just get in the car and drive.

But my parents, my friends, my family - they're all here to hug me and reward me and tell me they knew I could do it. But that's that thing - none of them thought I could do it, graduate. All of them thought I'd be the hopeless old lady working at McDonald's for the rest of my life. Seeing them here now tells me that people really just like to be right. They don't care about feelings. They care about themselves. And how they appear is everything.

I am being drowned with hugs and cheek-pinchings and gift givings. Everything I truly despise and shows me that I cannot trust people's word.

The moment I get to college I am going to prove everyone wrong. I am going to buckle down and study, become a perfect student, and graduate, become a successful designer. I want to make people proud, but also shut them up.

I just wish I could leave now.

But of course not. First, I have to go to dinner with family. I have to pack, prepare, and figure out how to say goodbye to my friends. They're the ones who actually did believe in me.

Wish they were here right now.

The moment I see a gap between the people surrounding me, and they lose interest in me once again, I dash to my car and turn on the ignition. I just want to leave.

I hear my parents calling my name, begging me to return, but I just wave my hand out the window and begin to drive. I know they'll be mad at me when they see me next, but what can they do? Ground me? I'm off to college. That won't do much.

I keep driving until I reach my house, where I leap out of my car, bounding up to the doorstep.

I head to the kitchen, where I indulge in my old ways of coping - eating. I find everything sugary and fattening and just eat. I haven't done this in such a long time, but now, with the stress of family and friends and college, it's just all too much.

Sitting down at the kitchen table, where I am stuffing my mouth with Hostess cupcakes, I notice a tiny brown package with gold lettering sitting on the table. I begin to open it, but scream a wretched cry when I see what's inside of it.

A _finger. _A bleeding, decaying _finger. _

I pant, trying to catch my breath, but it's too much. Avoiding touching the fingers, I reach into the packaging and take out the gold-lettered note. Who would be nuts enough to send me fingers?

When I read the note, I almost smack myself for how stupid that was. I know exactly who sent it.

"Does this finger remind you of all the people pointing at you and laughing? Do you remember how unpopular, fat you were? Hope you aren't eating the stress away. -A"

* * *

EMILY'S POV

At home, the ticking of the clock feels like the beating of my heart. Fast, yet steady. While my heart races with the yearning to leave, it still beats steadily, for I know that patience is all I need. Patience. I'll be out of here soon enough.

The clock ticks, counting down the seconds until I can escape.

My enormous family enters my house just after me, showering me in unwanted hugs and kisses and handshakes.

My aunt Jenny screams: "Emily, dear, congratulations!"

Uncle Carlisle: "You're so grown up!"

Grandma Mildred: "Look at you, Ms. Emily! You look sweet as chocolate" (That one came with an unwanted pinch on the cheek.)

I force an everlasting smile, hiding my groans and annoyances. I just want it to be over.

Once the cheek pinching and hugging ceases, I dash upstairs while all continue to party below.

I close my door, sliding to the floor. My eyes are closed, but tears well at my eyelids, and one or two manage to escape.

So many people are here to congratulate me, tell me I've done an amazing job. But it feels like all they're saying is "You did it. You stayed alive. You didn't kill yourself." While none of them have any idea of that, I feel there is nothing else to congratulate me on.

I stand up, bracing myself to return downstairs. I know I need to be there, I just needed some space for a minute. Before I exit, I turn to my closet, trying to reach for my inhaler, when my hands stumble across something I don't recognize. It falls to the floor with a _thud, _and I bend over to see what it is.

There is a small box labeled: Emily's graduation present.

I don't know who it's from; there's no name. But, since it's my graduation, and I'd like an excuse to not return downstairs, I untie the little yellow ribbon holding the blue packaging together.

And then I see what's inside. I try not to scream; I don't want to call attention to myself and have people come upstairs and see… _this. _This… finger.

A finger.

I scrounge for a note, when I see that someone has written inside of the box.

Along the walls, it reads: "Want to kill yourself now? Maybe start by cutting off the finger, then a toe. But keep your eyes and ears; you'll want to see and hear when you take that gun to your head."

I gulp when I see who it's from.

"With love, -A"


	4. The First Day of Life

**AN: So Last chapter was really intense, and I'm really happy about the reviews. This chapter won't be as eventful, but it will begin to segue into the thematic elements of the story. I have the entire story planned out. The stories for Spencer and Hanna will pick up immensely next chapter, and Aria's will follow. Emily's will take a bit longer, but it's an emotional set up. Please read, review, and recommend!**

* * *

SPENCER'S POV

The car ride to Harvard is mostly silent.

Toby drives the two of us in his truck to Harvard, and we barely say a word. I told him about the fingers, and the note, and the two of us are frightened to a point where we just don't know what to say.

Well, I know what Toby _wants _to say. He wants to tell me that A is no longer going to hurt us since we're all moving in different directions. He wants to explain that the note was a final threat. But I can tell he doesn't want to say it because even he isn't sure he believes it.

Though we say nothing verbally, our eyes say it all. His bright blue eyes, while full of fear, shimmer more brightly than ever before. I know he's excited to leave a town where he's always been considered an outcast, a felon. He is looking forward to starting over, to living with me in a place where no one knows his tattered past.

I, too, am looking forward to the escape. College will hold adventures that don't necessarily involve chasing evil masterminds. Toby and I will be living in a house right near campus together, and he'll be working on construction nearby. We'll get to experience the world. Together.

While I know he's excited, he seems… off. As I continue looking at him, I notice beads of sweat surfacing on his forehead. He looks like something is troubling him.

"Everything okay?" I ask, genuinely concerned.

"Yeah," he answers breathily. "I'm fine." He doesn't meet my eyes when he speaks, just keeps his eyes locked on the road.

"Toby, seriously, is something wrong?"

Again, avoiding eye contact, he replies: "No, I promise Spence. Everything is great. Perfect. Look at us. We're heading off to a city where nothing can hurt us. And we're together. That's all I care about."

I shrink down in my seat, my expression contorting into confusion. Why does he look so nervous? I'm worried there's something he's not telling me.

Of course, in our relationship, someone was always not telling someone something.

"Spencer, don't worry about me," he says, as if reading my mind. "Everything is-"

"TOBY WATCH OUT!"

A car swerves in front of us, and Toby jerks the steering wheel, but it is too late. A giant _CRASH _sounds, and my world turns black.

* * *

ARIA'S POV

Welcome to Ezra free life, population Aria.

I think I may regret moving here.

I arrived at Carnegie Mellon University just hours ago, and I thought it would be pleasant to not have to worry about relationships while I'm away, to not be tied down. But I miss him.

I suppose that's expected. I mean, I broke up with him yesterday. I shouldn't immediately be over someone I was with for so long. I can expect a bit of moroseness. I just don't want to be one of those girls who goes crawling back to her boyfriend because I was too sad to leave him for a minute. I'm not one of those girls.

I need a distraction. I strike up a conversation with my mom about college classes and activities as we bring boxes up to my dorm room. We discuss campus tours, extra curricular activites - anything. And when the conversation dies down, I come up with something else. I just need to keep my mind active and out of the Ezra territory.

I am wondering what to do during the college days to keep my mind off of that subject. The activities fair seems like a plausible excuse, so as my mom sheds her last tears and hugs me one last time, she leaves, letting me free to roam the campus grounds.

A skinny, blonde girl at a booth for "Glee Club" smacks her gum and waves me over. She looks like she hasn't eaten anything since the 20th century. Her pants, probably triple-zeros, seem to be falling down her hips because of her lack of weight, and I suddenly feel sad for her. To see someone so insecure she refuses to eat just breaks my heart. I hesitate for a moment, knowing there was no way in the world I'd ever join a club that consisted of people like her, the gum-chewing, anorexic type, but I thought it would be a way to get my mind off of things for a bit, to let someone fill my mind with scattered thoughts.

"Hey, any interest in singing?" the girl says between bubbles. Her name tag reads Myra.

"Well, I sing a bit, but-"

"Great! We've been looking for new members for quite some time! I'm a sophomore this year, but last year, as a freshman, we had so few people we couldn't qualify for competitions. You should audition!"

Myra hands me a flyer with information about tryouts, and I find myself reconsidering. It _would _ be an interesting way to keep focus on something other than Rosewood.

"I'll be there," I say with a smile. Myra grins back, and blows a big pink bubble.

"You should join my sorority, too! You seem like a really nice girl, and I'm sure all the girls would love to have you." Myra hands me another paper with information about her sorority, as well as her phone number.

"Call me if you ever want someone to show you around campus, or just hang out."

I smile, and begin to walk away, when I turn back. I realize she may be the answer to my prayers.

"You free tonight? I'd love for you to show me around town, not just campus."

Myra's face lights up. "Absolutely! You can come the bar I work at for a bit, then we can go downtown."

"Sounds great," I reply. I begin to walk away, and Ezra's name doesn't even enter my mind.

* * *

HANNA'S POV

Room 204, Fairbanks Dormitory, New York School of the Fashion Arts and Merchandising. My home for the next four years.

The stress bubbles inside of me. I don't know how I'm supposed to be able to do this.

I'm not worried about students being 'smarter' than me or anything like that - I got into this school after professors begged me to come. I have a passion for fashion, face it. I'm just worried about how someone like me, with my past, will get along in a school like this. Girls here will be snooty, competitive, worried about being the best, the skinniest. If girls find out I was fat, or that I'm not completely dedicated to selfishness, I'm not going to survive. After receiving that special… gift from A, it's all that's been on my mind. I know that A is relatable to the devil on my shoulder, a nagging at the back of my mind trying to make me insecure and feel alone, but A was right. I was fat. I was unpopular. And that is not the type of girl people accept at a school like this.

All of my stress begins to melt when I see my roommate. An everyday, average girl sits at the bed across from what shall soon by mine. She has long, dark, curly hair and bright teeth that smile kindly at me.

"Hey, I'm Keirson, your roommate!" the brunette exclaims with a grin.

"I'm… Hanna," I say. I'm relieved to have someone like her as my roommate. I hardly know her, and I already know we'll be close. She isn't the snobby girl I was worried about.

"It's awesome to meet you. I was worried I'd have some stuck up fashionista as a roommate, but you look really cool," Keirson says.

I breathe a sigh of relief. "I was worried about the exact same thing."

We chat for a while, getting to know each other. She seems energetic when she talks, but her eyes look tired. I notice she keeps pinching or grasping her stomach or left side.

"Are you alright?" I ask.

"Huh? Oh, the stomach. Yeah I… Uh… I got my appendix out a couple of weeks ago."

"Isn't the appendix supposed to be on the right? You keep pinching your left."

"It… hurts all over."

Suddenly I felt the burgeoning friendship fade away. This girl was hiding something.

"Are you sure?" I ask again. When Keirson stands up, her shirt lifts a bit, revealing a stomach covered in scars red scratches.

I wince to muffle a gasp. Luckily, she didn't seem to notice. Now I knew what she was hiding, but I wanted to know why she just didn't tell me there were scars. I'm pretty positive that an appendectomy wouldn't result in scars like that.

I ignore it, not wanting to ruin a possible new friendship with who may be the only friend I find at this school.

Kerison stands at her desk, her shoulders slumped. She looks stressed, like something is bothering her. She really surprises me when she whips her head around and says, "How would you like to go to a party tonight? There's one at a fraternity in the southern part of the campus."

Even more to my surprise, I reply with a "Yes."

* * *

EMILY'S POV

My roommate is beautiful.

Flowing blonde hair, pink lips, blue eyes - absolutely beautiful. Her skin looks so soft, and her three piercings along her ear lobe give her an edge.

Her name is Chae, short for Charlotte. Everything about her name is absolutely beautiful.

When she speaks, her voice has an eloquent resonance that makes me tingle.

Something about her… It's special. Beautiful.

"Hey, so you're name is Emily, right?" she says in a light German accent.

"Yeah," I answer nervously.

"That's really pretty. You are too," she winks.

I feel myself blushing. I turn away before she notices and continue unpacking. At the bottom of my suitcase is a picture of Maya. I pause to look at it for a moment, my heart sinking.

"Is that you girlfriend?" Chae asks. I start; I had no idea she was looking over my shoulder.

"Oh, uh, well, yeah - er, no - I mean, she was but, she… died." I hang my head so Chae can't see the tears welling in my eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Emily. I got out of a relationship similarly. My girlfriend was arrested after robbing a bank."

It takes me a minute to register what she says, and then I feel myself looking up at her, mouth gaping open. Chae said her _girlfriend. _

My beautiful roommate is a lesbian.

Like me.


	5. The Beginning of a New Story

SPENCER'S POV

My eyes flutter open, and I don't recognize my surroundings. The room is filled with beeping and blinking machinery, and I'm lying on a bed in a white nightgown.

Am I in a hospital?

I crane my neck to the side, wincing. Why does it hurt to move? But as I turn, I see a hand gripping mine.

I pull away in fear. I do not recognize the boy holding my hand. Who is he?

"Spence," he says kindly. He has bright blue eyes that stare at me lovingly, like we have a past. I feel like that stirs a memory, but any recognition slips away before I can grasp it. "You're alive. Oh God, you're awake."

He smiles and sighs. "I.. the doctors… we weren't sure if you'd… they thought you wouldn't wake up." His eyes well with tears.

My lips purse into a thin line. Never wake up? What happened to me?

I decide the boy seems friendly enough, and he seems to care, so I ask him what exactly happened to me.

"Yeah, they said you might suffer a bit of trauma when you woke up," he laughs, but I can see in his eyes it pains him. I don't know why. Is it because he's trying to _mask _pain? "You really don't remember anything about the other day?"

"What happened?" I ask again.

"We were in a car crash. You were hit harder; the car rammed into your side. I only suffered a bit of a concussion and a few crashes. You… you were… hit… really hard." He chokes back sobs. But he told me I was in a car crash with him. I must know him. Who is he?

"So what happened to me?" I ask. "If you only suffered a concussion, what did I suffer?"

The boy lowers his head and tear falls down his cheek. "Move your blanket," he says.

I do as he asks, slowly removing the blanket from my body.

"HUH!" I gasp when I see what he is referring to.

I only have one leg.

"No…" I say, almost to myself. I'd feel weird to cry in front of someone I didn't even know.

But I do know him. I was in the car with him.

_Who is he? _

"Spence…" the boy says.

"Is that me?" I ask. "Am I Spence?"

The blue eyed boy raises his head and gives me a worried expression. "W-what do you mean? Of course you are!"  
"I mean I don't remember. I don't remember anything."

"Any… anything?"

"I have no idea who I am or what happened to me or who you are. I just-"

I stop talking. The blue eyed boy stares at me and begins to cry. What did I say?

"Y-you d-don't remember me?" he stutters.

"Sorry… no."

"I'm… I'm your boyfriend, Toby. I can't believe you don't remember who I am."

* * *

ARIA'S POV

"So where'd you move here from?" Myra asks, wiping the bar.

"I lived in Rosewood most of my life, but my family spent a year in Iceland."

"Wow! That's awesome!" Myra exclaims. "Wish I could get out of here. I've lived in Pittsburgh my entire life, now going to college here. Sigh. I've always wanted to travel the world. See the sights."

"Me too. Where do you want to go?"

"Australia. I want to be on the opposite half of the world than everyone I hate. I want to explore by myself, go on an adventure."

"That sounds amazing."

"How fun would it be to go together?" Myra suggests. "We could see the world, not a care in the world. Take our minds off of everything."

"I'd love that. I need that. I want to forget everything from my past and just focus on the future."

"What happened-" Myra's watch alarm goes off. "Oh, shoot. I gotta go. I'll see ya from up onstage in a minute." She winks and heads into the back.

"Wait… what?"

She leaves me wondering what she possibly could have meant. I sip my drink, gazing blankly at the stage.

Suddenly the curtain opens and men in the front rows start applauding. A girl appears in a sparkling bikini and begins to dance on stage. The customers applaud and holler.

Then I see the blonde hair and the familiar pink lips.

Myra is a strip dancer.

I am tempted to run out of the club just then, horrified by the person I'd associated myself with, but then I realized I was hanging out with her to let my mind focus on crazy, distracting things.

The cat-calling and whistling died down, and Myra stepped offstage, throwing cards into the air. I catch one, and see it's a business card with her number and a revealing picture of her. I've never been comfortable around girls like her, and I still am not. But she excites me, enthralls me into a world I've never experienced before.

Myra walks over to me, wrapping a silk robe around her body. She winks and smiles. "Bet you didn't see that coming."

"I don't even know what to say."

"I'm not proud of it, but it pays a lot, plus tips from all the men. It's easy money, flexible shifts. And no one knows about it. Except you, of course."

"And all the men you just gave your number to…"

"It's part of the job, hun. If they call, you gotta answer. I get paid to do what they ask."

"W-what do they ask?"

"If I gotta sleep with 'em, I do it. I don't get paid otherwise. And I need the money to pay for college, after all."

I am flabbergasted. When I first met Myra, I'd seen her as the "dumb blonde," the girl who smacked her gum and captained the cheer squad. But now I see her in an entirely new light.

And then I say something I NEVER would have expected myself to say.

"Any openings here?"

Myra gives me a look of condescension, but it fades and she returns to her usual smile.

"You really want a job here?"

"Look, I just need something to get my mind off of… things."

"I can probably hook ya up. But I'm gonna warn ya. Once you put this on," she gestures to her attire. "And start dancing, the shame sticks with ya. And one day, no matter how hard you put it behind ya, it's gonna catch up with ya."

I shrink back, but try to keep my head tall. I don't want her thinking I'm too shy to do this. I understand what she says, but it seems like the perfect way for me to forget about Ezra.

"Where do I apply?"

* * *

HANNA'S POV

My eyes flutter open, and I turn to the side, expecting to see Keirson.

But I don't.

There is no one beside me. There is no _bed _beside me.

In fact, I don't even know where I am.

Glancing down, I see I'm completely naked. I stare at myself in shock, racking my brain for a possible reason as to why I am in this state.

_Think Hanna, think. _Okay, so yesterday… yesterday, Keirson and I were talking and… and… she wanted to go to a party. Yeah, a party, that's it. What happened at the party?

_THINK. _

Gradually, memories begin to flood back into my mind. I remember… I remember drinking. Obviously that was involved. I look around the room, hoping something will trigger a memory.

There is a pair of black jeans with a hole in the left knee lying atop a dresser in the corner. Of course, the jeans. They belonged to… to.. AGH!

No. No, I remember.

There was a guy at the party. What was his name?

Ryder. That was it.

And… no.

NO.

Ryder… oh shit.

I remember… I remember making out with him at the party. He took me back to his room, and I guess… I guess we slept together.

My suspicions are confirmed when a shirtless Ryder walks out of his bathroom, a towel wrapped around his legs.

"Morning," he says, as if he has not a care in the world.

"MORNING?" I shout. "That's all you have to say?"

"Good… morning?"

"You don't get it do you. This is a bigger deal than you realize. I was drunk last night, and I slept with a guy I don't even KNOW."

"Hanna…" Ryder says, but has nothing to follow.

I jump out of bed, pulling the sheets with me to hide my body as I put on clothes and storm out the door. I slam it behind me, angrily storming off, back to my dormitory.

Truthfully, I was just hiding my shame. I can't believe what I just did. I'm angry at myself.

When I reenter my dorm, Keirson jumps up to greet me, her expression filled with worry and relief.

"Where were you?" she demands. "I was worried something happened to you last night when you didn't come back. What happened?"

"I guess I was too drunk to do anything smart, so I left with some guy and spent the night."

"Hanna…" she says, but fades out, unsure of how to respond.

"Whatever. It's over. Said and done. No harm no foul, right?"

"Hanna, there will always be a foul with something like that. You may not have _died_, but I can assure you there will be consequences." When she stops speaking, she pinches her stomach again and winces. Suddenly, I understand what she's hiding. The worries about sleeping with guys, the painful stomach… it all makes sense.

"Keirson…" I begin. "Were you… pregnant?"

She hangs her head in shame and sniffs. "In high school, yeah," she replies quietly. I can tell she's embarrassed. "I had a daughter named Avery a few months ago through C-section. That's why I have the scars. And why my stomach hurts."

"I'm sorry," I say, but that is all. I don't know what else to say. My stomach hurts just _thinking _about what she went through.

"Look, Hanna, it doesn't matter. That's over. This isn't about me. My point is, doing stuff like that has repercussions. You better be careful. I gotta get to psychology."

Keirson exits to attend her next class, and I am left to ponder what she has said. Could there really be some sort of outcome to this? It was a one night stand, completely accidental. I've said my prayers, asked for repentance - c'mon, what is going to happen?

But her words still repeat endlessly in my mind. _"Doing stuff like that has repercussions." _Nothing bad ever happened with Caleb… but what about this? Could something happen to me?

I lie on my bed, my mind unable to focus on anything else. I made a mistake. A huge mistake. I really did. And Keirson is right; while nothing terrible will happen to me, there will be repercussions.

Shame is one of those repercussions.

Is this how my college legacy will begin? My first night at college, and I probably already have a reputation, and not even the snobby type I was afraid of. It will be much worse.

I can't let anyone find out about this. No one can know.

I run in to the bathroom, scouring the drawers. After Keirson's past, she had to have at least one.

I decide to just be safe, be positive nothing happened. It would just be better to be safe than sorry, to know now rather than later.

I finally find it. A pregnancy test.

All that's left to do now is wait.

* * *

EMILY'S POV

"Emily," Chae says in her beautiful accent. "Could you hand me my binder?"

It takes me a minute to register what she says, for I was so absorbed in her voice. I do a double take and hand her the binder, my pulse racing when our hands brush against each other's.

"Thanks," she says with a laugh. She smiles, and I suddenly just feel… happier.

It's been a few days since school started, and I've tried everything to get closer to her. Every time she's asked me if I wanted to do something, I said yes each time, thanking God I got to spend time with her. She makes me happy.

I decide it's my turn to offer up something to do. I can't be the follower. I need to be more front.

"Chae," I begin shakily. "How would you like to do something tonight? Maybe dinner out, or a club?"

"That sounds fun! I know a place -er, you _are _a lesbian right? This club nearby is strictly lesbian, and you gotta know someone to get in. I don't want to be rude, I just wanted to make sure."

"Uh, yeah, I am."

"Thought so, after those pics of ex-girlfriends. I am too; I just needed to be sure you are. This club is amazing."

"Sounds great," I say, just ecstatic I get to spend time with her, especially at a place I won't be judged it I try to make a move.

That evening, after classes, Chae and I catch a bus downtown to the club. She smiles the whole time, talking to me and showing me pictures on her phone. Her photography is excellent, and she seems so enthusiastic, passionate.

"This is from when I lived in Europe. I was born in Germany, but I moved to Paris in high school."

"You're so lucky. This is one of the first times I've been out of Pennsylvania," I say with a sigh.

"Well, Europe is beautiful, but America is… it's diverse. It's full of beautiful, wonderful people. Like you." When she says that, I feel my cheeks flush.

"Where have you lived? Or, traveled to?" I ask, trying to keep the conversation going. I love listening to her talk.

"Germany for 10 years, Paris for 4. But in between there was Switzerland, Ireland, and England. Moving is wonderful and all, but I've never been able to settle down and make friends until now."

"I've had some tough times, too," I say, but I regret it instantly; I really don't want to tell her the stories of A. I think Chae sees it in my face and realizes I don't want to explain, for she says nothing but rubs her hand on the small of my back.

"Well, whatever happened, you must have been strong enough to face it all and be here today."

I beam, just amazed at how Chae makes me feel. She's so considerate, so kind.

The bus lets us off at our stop, and we walk to the club together. Chae takes my hand - and I don't know if it's just to be friendly - but it makes my face turn hot. We walk hand in hand, side by side. But when we walk into the club, I let go of her hand, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

Girls were everywhere, drinking, talking, kissing - even though I knew I was like these girls, I'd never been in an environment where being me was acceptable.

"You okay?" Chae asks, breaking my train of thought.

"Oh… yeah… It's just… Back in Pennsylvania, people never really accepted who I was. Being me was kind of… wrong. I've never been to a place where I felt like I fit in."

"Well, you're about to," Chae says with a smile. "C'mon. You'll feel right at home here."

We dance and talk, drink and dance some more. When we dance, our bodies are pressed so closely together, little space between us. Chae keeps moving closer to me, and eventually, I just can't handle it anymore.

I kiss her.

She's taken aback for a moment, pulling away, but then she smiles and kisses me back.

She breaks away, then takes my hand, dragging me into a corner of the bar where no one can see us. She pulls me in close, kissing me.

"You're… amazing…" I say between kisses. Chae smiles at me.

We stay there in the corner for a while, until the lights go out. People scream, and a door slams open. Cops break through, storming in in large groups with guns.

"AGAINST THE WALL!" one of them yells. The girls in the club squeal and scream, doing as the cops say. I am about to follow for fear of being shot, when Chae grabs my hand.

"Hey," she whispers. "Let's go out back." She looks fearful, but her tone remains calm. We sneak out the back door and run, run, run.

"What was that about?" I say after I catch my breath.

"I don't know," Chae says, but her voice is quiet, and she doesn't face me. She just keeps maneuvering through the streets, walking briskly, her posture straight. She walks with purpose. Chae never looks at me, just guides me by the hand as if she knows exactly where she's going.

"Chae, seriously, what's going on? You aren't worried about what happened back there?"

"No," she says. "No, no, don't worry. It's okay." But she doesn't say it to me; she says it as if she is saying it to herself, convincing herself. Not me.

Chae keeps walking until we head into an alleyway.

"Chae, I'm scared. What is happening?" Now as I say it, I'm not scared of what happened anymore. I'm scared of Chae.

"Emily," she says, finally looking at me. "Look, something's happening. I can't tell you what, but it's bad. I need you to trust me. I know that's tough to ask. I know we have only known each other for a little bit. But please, if you care about me and yourself, just trust me. Please."

"Chae… What's going on?"

"Emily…" she fades out, then kisses me again. "You're the first person who's cared about me in a long time. I don't want to lose that. But I'm also involved in something really, really bad, but not by choice."

"Are the cops after you?" I demand, my voice growing stronger. "Is that why we ran, and why you knew exactly where to go?"

"No. Not exactly. I mean - look, you have to trust me. We need to get back to the dorm. Now."

I don't know why, but I say okay. We scamper through the dark streets and head back to the dormitory. We change, then crawl into bed. I face away from her, but I still cannot sleep.

Something bad is happening. I'm scared of Chae. I'm scared of who she is. I'm terrified of what might happen.

But I also know I'm falling for her. Deeply.


End file.
